new cues -- fuss and seek

Paul's not as attentive as I am on the potty front because he's on a slower learning curve. Julia's cues change pretty often now and he doesn't always know what the new signal is. She's not peeling tabs as a cue as often any more. Now she's doing some fussing (loud) or potty seeking (silent) instead.

With the fussing, you can misinterpret it and not realize it is because of potty business. With the potty seeking... she can wander off without your knowing it as she searches the house for the potty.

Other times, I just know. Either because I feel it's time or because I have to go myself or some other subtle cue. We were at the bookstore and I took over watching her in the children's area where she was playing so Paul could browse. When he left I stuck a finger in her diaper and thought "Yup. Damp. Dad missed a cue somewhere." Then I thought... "Wait... she's still got more coming..."

So I picked her up and said, "Let's go potty. We'll make some pee pee."

She looked at me and whispered "Peeeeeee."

"That's right. Are you telling me you need to go potty?"

"Peepeepee" she whispered while bouncing in my arms.

So I got her in the ladies room and stripped her down and held her over a toilet, said "Sssss...." and we both watched her pee into the toilet. I set her on the ground and looked around for TP and junk.

Julia clapped and seemed to expect a flush because she just stood there looking into the toilet and wasn't willing to put clothes back on til I flushed it.

Later at home when I joined Paul in the home office I asked him if she was naked because she peed her diaper. He seemed surprised beause he hadn't notice. (Did he not hear the crunchy sound of the Aplix being undone? It was cover and diaper. That's four tabs!) When I checked the discarded diaper it was damp.

Good that baby can deal with taking away her own diaper, bad on Daddy for not being more mindful.

I didn't say anything and just took her to get a fresh one but I do need to talk to him about being more mindful of her potty needs when he's supposed to be "watching the baby."

I sat down to do some email and after a while I quit hearing her turn pages in her board book so I looked up to see her wandering out the door.

"Julia, where are you going?"

She stops to look at me and pats her diaper and starts to feel the tab.

"Are you going to the potty? Do you want to make pee pee?"

She looks at me and rips the tab open and starts to wander off down the hall again.

"I'm coming behind you. Where is the potty?"

She heads to the green bathroom and pauses to beat the stainless steel trash can lid while I arrange the step stool in front of the toilet.

I pat the stool. She comes over and climbs on it and holds out her arms for me to undo the rest of the diaper. I help her up on the toilet, say "Sssss." and she pees. She grabs my hands, hops off and turns to look at the toilet.

"Look at that! You put pee pee in the potty. That's where pee pee goes. Ok, flush now. "I flush the toilet while she looks inside.

"Bye bye, pee-pee!" I say.

She waves at it leaving. Cracks me up.

This is getting easier and easier with her....

It really makes me angry when I skim parenting books at the bookstore and I see so many of the books telling people not to bother toilet training until later because it "isn't possible." That's such crap.

If parent is not ready to teach it early that is one thing. Not everyone can teach easily at all ages. But to just dismiss it because it is "not possible" means parents are misled and they miss a good opportunity.

An opportunity to learn to coomunicate with their child before the child has verbal skills and understand them better and a chance to get the child housebroken without struggle.

Toddler training -- I see other moms doing it and to me it looks soooo much harder as it becomes a contest of wills. With Julia still being in the "will comply cheerfully, albeit easily distracted" stage my only problems are 1) bringing Paul up-to-date on the latest potty signal and 2) watching the kid when she gives the signal and providing verbal prompts as needed so she stays on task and doesn't forget where she is going if the potty is far away.