5 A Day Goal: Done. Peas & carrots, pear, watermelon, tomato, broccoli.
Physically: Coughing still, drained, and not enough rest.
Mentally: Wiped out. Don't want to think about meeting anyone's needs but mine and Julia's. Even Paul can just fend for himself for a few days. I need to recharge.
Emotionally: Fragile. Julia's birthday left me completely shattered. While I'm happy she seemed to have a nice time, I really hate having to field all the family hoo hah alone. I'm pretty fed up with other people undermining me, second guessing me or backseat parenting. Bleah.
I am having a mediocre day. If it were that TOM, I would blame PMS. Nothing specific wrong, just feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated and irritable. I did well with food today but when I am feeling this way, I am tempted to overeat or snack or treat myself to get out of the bad mood. I left points for my chocolate yogurt so I will be having that as soon as I get off-line.
I am also frustrated because I can't exercise and I feel like exercising would help me jumpstart weight loss and also give me some time alone every other evening when I am not sitting in front of the computer. My stomach is looking much much better so I will give it a go next week.
Another source of irritation is the mental stress required by eating healthy which, in my household, mainly falls on me. Mike is great and totally supportive, but he doesn't think while coming home from work "what are we going to have for dinner tonight? Do we need anything from the store? We are out of fruit and we will definitely need some more for tomorrow...". I think those things and run to the store and buy the stuff and come home and make the dinner and prep for lunch tomorrow, etc. He would do it if I asked, but I might as well do it, I already know what needs to happen. I hope this doesn't read that I am irritated at him, just at the voices that run around my head while he seems to be voice free.
OK, enough whining. On a positive note, I felt skinnier this morning! Maybe it was the fact that I am "going commando" to avoid further stomach irritation, but my pants felt loose and seemed to hang a little lower on my waist. We weigh in this weekend. Though I am curious, I have been pretty happy in my oblivious state. I am not sure if I will want weighing in to be a monthly thing.
Today, my day of rest wasn't as complete as yesterdays. I made dinner, cleaned the downstairs, washed Izzy's toys, and cleaned up the kitchen. I did some prep work for lunches next week, but not loads. We had bbq tofu again for dinner and it wasn't as good this time. Last time I froze it over night and this time just for a couple of hours. It made a big difference.
It snowed pretty significantly here today, but not enough to keep us from work tomorrow. Too bad that both the bad snows have happened over the weekends so we don't get free days off.
Sunday. Day of rest, and day to organize the next week ahead. I am beat.
Julia's 1st birthday party at the science museum went over pretty well. Some minor disappointments and difficulties but I think the families will get used to celebrating in this new way -- with family activities being the focus rather than junk food and gifts.
If Paul and I don't start revising and updating the family traditions with #1, it will never get done. So the first Christmas and now the first birthday have been a challenge.
We asked for a story to take the place of gift opening at her party and we'll send polaroids of her opening at home with the thank you cards. I know the in-laws were a bit disappointed but the other cousins do it at their parties and they can enjoy it there. I rather preserve one of the few Chiense customs we can actually do and NOT do the gifts at a party. (With Julia being tri-ethnic it's hard to pick and choose which customs to keep and which to skip.)
My in-laws were a little surprised that we didn't allow Julia to have bakery sheet cake or ice-cream but didn't make a thing of it like my parents did. They're used to my monitoring her food closely and leave it to me. My mom? She ALWAYS wants to feed people. It's one of the ways she shows her love for them. So with her it's been a struggle with the baby's eating. She doesn't understand why she can't have everythign all willy nilly and she doesn't understand that it messes with my milk supply.
I hate it when they backseat parent though. It's ok if they are curious about why we do the things we do with Julia and want to ask but why they have to do it in front of the kid is beyond me.Sooo annoying.
I need their help in teaching her that what Mom or Dad say goes. No backtalk or questions and it doesn't help if the grandparents resist us in front of her. When she's older she can have more of a voice in what goes on but at 1 year old? She needs to mind us absolutely. If I say "stop!" you stop whether or not there is a car coming. If I say "No touch" you don't, whether it's the stove or the DVDs.
I need to work with them on discretion in front of the child.
And for the record -- a child's 1st party is NOT the time to be trying new foods, esp. ones with cow milk, eggs, wheat, chocolate and food colorings. All things that are high on the list of allergenic/reactive foods. If the child gets sick from it, it pretty much ruins the party. After considering all that and the massive sugar dose, we opted to bring Julia a vegan pumpkin cupcake from home and we tested her on it earlier in the week to make sure it would sit ok with her. Getting her a vegan cake was unfortunately not an option with the museum's catering service. So we did the best we could.
First time grandparents though. Sheesh. Hopefully by the time we have #2 they'll get a grip.
We tried the pad thai last night. It was ok, but nothing like pad thai, just a veggie stir fry with pasta in an ok sauce. Edible, but we won't be having it again. I will keep my eyes open for a different one.
Had a very nice relaxing day yesterday. It is quite a treat not to do anything, dishes, laundry, just to sit in the floor and play with the baby. We got a little snow last night so today will be much of the same.
Week 3 went ok. Last night I totaled up my "banked" points for the week and it was 21 so even though I went over 1 day by 2 pnts, I did ok for the week. I exercised twice, but have to let that be enough for now until my tummy is healed. It looks better already so I am hopeful it will only take a week and I can start exercising again in Week 5. It is irritating to me that my exercise efforts have already been de-railed, but now I will be more sensitive to taking care of my body to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Yesterday was a very strange food day for me. I had a small breakfast and 1 fruit cut at work. We had some appts to attend to so I left work early and picked up a coffee drink on the way home. That was all I ate (totalling about 11 pnts) until 4 when I realized I was STARVING and needed to eat right away. Since I hadn't eaten many points during the day, we went out to dinner. I was able to find point values for the food we ate at the restaurant so I didn't got overboard.
Week 4 goals:
Stay within points
Try to replace un-nutritional carbs with nutritional carbs
Take it easy and let myself heal
The main goal this week is to challenge myself to try some new, more nutritional carbs. I went out yesterday to buy groceries and bought some very nice looking brown bread, brown rice, sweet potatoes (to make sweet potato fries instead of regular fries) and high fiber, high protein cereal. Hopefully 1 or 2 of these replacements will be permanent, but I am not going to force it. If we find that we can't stand the brown rice with our beans, we will go back to white. Though I recognize the importance of eating more nutrional food, we also need to eat food we enjoy to stay committed to this lifestyle change. That is one reason I didn't buy any whole wheat pasta. We really like the past we get now and I don't think we are willing to give it up.
Though I haven't made it a goal, we have continued to try new foods almost every week. This week we are trying a pad thai recipe from a weight watchers cook book. Pad thai is one of our favorite dishes to get out so when we looked at the recipe and saw it didn't include many veggies or tofu, we immediately decided to alter it. Mainly we are going to try the sauce they recommend with our own mix of stuff. We are also trying a new lunch - whole wheat pita with hummus and veggies and a side of lentil rice pilaf. I love hummus and we have found a low fat, low calories version pre-made in the health food store. The rice pilaf is another WW recipe, I haven't tried it yet either.
9:00 am
I tried my first healthy substitution this morning. I had Kashi's GoLean cereal instead of honey bunches. It was good, very much like big chunks of granola. It was better after I left it to soak in the milk for a while. It has 9 grams of protein and 8 of fiber (or vice versa). Since protein is something I am working on getting more of, it will definitely help. I won't have it every day, but it is something I could have on a regular basis.
Last night I went to the running store to buy new socks and body glide. I bought 3 different pairs of socks to try them out, after I determine which one is most comfie to me, I will by a load.
I have made an excutive decision to stop all activity until my stomach has healed completely. No exercise, no painting, just laying around the house. If it isn't better by Monday I will see the doc. It is getting worse and more painful and I am worried there might be an infection. Seeing the doc is the aboslute last thing I want to do, so I am going to give it a complete rest this weekend to see if it will get better on its own.
I'm doing better. TMI, butI'm at the green snot stage of it so another day or so of that and I ought to be pretty much done. That's how it usually goes for me so I'm always happy to get to that point in a cold.
Paul stayed home Tuesday to take care of us and cope with all the people coming so that was a huge help.
Julia's birthday party is going to be the peak of the week for me but another highlight was Tuesday's organic produce delivery. I've just signed up for this service and I'm liking it. The vegetable basket plus one fruit add-on worked out perfetly for us in terms of quantity for the week, and I'm def. getting my 5 A Day down a lot easier.
Yesterday I made two batches of muffins (rejects) and a new casserole thing (3 stars -- good, would make again, but not stellar or Patio Daddy-O recipe journal worthy.)
I'm experimenting with a vegan muffin for Julia to have at her birthday. I don't want her eating bakery sheet cake. I also don't want her having beaucoup-dles of arbitrary sugar so I was trying to see what amount was sweet enough, but not overpowering in the muffins.
I'm using the same muffin base but doing different featured ingredients and sugar amounts. So with VERY RIPE bananas, which are naturally super sweet, I think 1/2 cup would work out. I did 1/4 cup but it was just a wee bit bland. Then I ran out of bananas so I went with the organic carrot and 1/2 cup, but since carrots aren't as naturally sweet as bananas I think they might need 3/4 cup. 1 cup max.
Now I'm on to pumpkin. So... I'll start out with 1/2 cup and taste the batter and then see if I bump it up to 3/4 cups or even 1 cup before baking it.
I know if all else fails I can do a vanilla wacky cake but I really want her to have some fruit or veg in it.
Another walk! I am so proud of myself. It would have been too easy to blow this one off to a very bad day, but after dinner I ran down and did my 30 minutes. Sped up to 3.2 mph for 6 minutes to get the sweat going.
Mike's company is having a cruise down the Potomac this weekend! We just found out about it today (he works at a different place than his mail is delivered) and we had to rsvp yes right away. It sounds like a really neat thing to do on a sunday afternoon.
I have a sore throat, but no longer have the stuffy nose.
Julia has the stuffy nose, and a bit of an ear thing.
Paul's also sick but he still went in to work.
Add all the other craziness going on this week between insurance guy, sprinkler guy, two allergy shots, starting up produce delivery, and Julia's birthday party... I feel like I'm going to pop!
WOOHOO! My first walk of the year. I am very excited. And tired. I am one out of shape chickie. In my mind, I can walk fast, I am powerful. On the treadmill, I am struggling with a pace of 3 miles an hour. Now I have some numbers I can work to improve!
I went to work this morning, but have returned home to check on the pup. Her incision bled a little last night and I didn't want to leave her alone for a full 8 hours, esp. locked in her crate which she already hates. I have been getting loads done around the house, including hanging a pot rack, sorting through pots, and organizing the kitchen. As soon as my BIL leaves for work, I hope to get a walk in!
I am still thinking about my long lost love: the scale. I miss her. I am happy that she is put away and I haven't thought once about going down to fetch her back. I realized today that I was missing the feedback. The scale is very sensitive to changes in our bodies. It records positive progress long before our clothes feel looser or our rings fall off our fingers or we feel like we can do more. I am trying to focus on all the positive things. I am very happy I am eating healthier and eating more proportionate portion sizes. I am excited about starting to exercise, my eye is still on the prize, aka the Disney half marathon 2006. Those things will have to be enough to see me through this early stage when encouragement is so important, but feedback (without the scale) is lacking.
The good news : I cleaned my treadmill completely (it was still covered with a thick layer of drywall dust from our renovation in the spring). I turned it on and walked on it for a couple of minutes to verify it still ran. I ran the cable to the TV in front of the treadmill and hooked up the TV to a VCR. I am ready to exercise.
The bad news : I never exercised! I was running around like crazy today, taking care of the dog, doing laundry, cooking food for today and next week, take care of the baby, doing dishes, etc, etc, etc. No Exercise Cometh. I had to do most of it while my BIL was out to work. He is back now and watching football down there so no exercise now. Tomorrow I am getting my @ss on the treadmill for a 30 minute walk. No Excuses.
I went out and got a skim iced mocha today. Woohoo, 4 shots of espresso and I was flying around the house doing the above mentioned housework. Before we had the kid, Mike and I split all the housework. If one of us cooked, the other cleaned. We took turns going down to move the laundry. Now, I do almost everything while he plays with the kid. I love sitting in the floor and playing too, but I find it hard to relax when I know housework is waiting for me. Sometimes I feel like I have stepped back in time and become a 50s housewife, but maybe 50s housewived did all the work AND watched the kid while the hubby read the paper. Or maybe the whole 50s thing is too cliche?
I picked up the dog this morning. She is doing as expected. She will have a 6+ week recovery time which will be hard on all of us. She can't climb stairs and we live in a townhouse. No jumping, no running, no slick floors. My dog is 8 but she is like a puppy on speed most of the time. It is going to be bad.
It is FREEZING here! No more snow, but so so so cold and windy. Inside it is cold. The heat is running almost continuously. We are freezing our butts off.
Today we are having left over BBQ tofu for dinner and tomato soup for lunch with crackers and cheese for lunch. I still need to make the rice and beans for lunches this week. I am going to increase the amount of beans and make 10 servings instead of 8 so I won't run our mid-week again.
After my BIL gets up, I am going to head downstairs and assess the condition of our treadmill (as well as do laundry).
Doing better. Still a bit snorky so I'm glad I rescheduled Julia's first playdate over at our own house for 2 week sover. Plenty of time for me to give it to Paul and for him to get over it. Luckily, so far Julia isn't reacting. Hooray for breastmilk antibodies!
Have to go deal with dog this morning before the snow comes. The bathrooms are looking better but are still not usable and I worry that they will be like this for many days while we are snowed in.
10:30 am
Back from Vet's, Meadow has to have surgery (she is there now). $2000-$2400. We are all sad on many levels.
6:15 pm
Got a call from the vet and meadow is doing ok. I just started bawling when they told me that, I had been holding it in all day.
We tried two new things today that aren't on our normal menu. For lunch, we baked potatoes and topped them with chilli and cheese. I had been craving this combination, but when we actually ate it, I found it very disappointing. For dinner, we made BBQ tofu with brown rice, sweet potatoes and peas. Man, it was GOOD! It was a lot more work that I normally do for our meals (we had to freeze the tofu the night before, marinade it, bake it for 45 minutes, the brown rice took about an hour and the sweet potatoes take about an hour.) It is definitely a keeper, I can't wait to have leftovers tomorrow night. Both meals were big point meals, but I still have room for my frozen yogurt for dessert.
We got snow, but it is over now. I don't think I will start jazzercise tomorrow since I am not sure if she will have it or not and they are supposed to be done with the bathroom tomorrow (they are doing the final things right now) so I will need to clean our upstairs, esp. our bedroom.
Review of week 2. This week went ok, I accomplished all my goals (stayed within points, cleaned out the basement and closet and try a new food). We actually tried a couple new foods - tofu loaf (thumbs down), sloppy joes with soy crumbles (thumbs up) and we are all set to make BBQ tofu tomorrow. I am feeling mostly happy about our food choices but I hope to find some healthier options in the coming weeks.
Last night I had to get up in the middle of night to pee which meant a hike down the stairs. After that, I couldn't go back to sleep and let my mind wander. The last few times I have dieted, I have fallen prey to the old "if I lose 2 lbs a week for the next __ weeks, I will weigh ___ on May 1 and ___ on June 1 and ..." I hate hate hate that mentality because our bodies aren't robots, we don't lose weight in a prescribed fashion. And even if you have a great week and lose 2 lbs, it isnt' much of a celebration, it is what you are supposed to lose. If you have a not so good week, then all your mental calculations have to start again. Anway, I feel like storing my scale has helped me avoid that thought process this time. Now I am thinking "I hope I can exercise for 60 minutes a time for 5 days a week by March or April." I hope that is a healthier mind set.
When I was 22 I lived in Arizona for a summer. I was eating vegan and didn't have a car so I walked or road my bike everywhere. I felt so healthy and great about myself. I wasn't counting calories or worrying about my weight (didn't own a scale), but I could see that i was slimming down and I appreciated it. When I would get out of the shower, I would notice new bones or muscles peeking through the chub. When I finally went home, I weighed myself and I had lost 40 lbs over the summer! The crazy thing? I was disappointed I hadn't lost more, that the scale didn't read some magical mythical perfect weight. I felt so good about myself the second before I got on the scale and so bad the second I got off. I was thinking a lot about that while laying in bed last night. I wish I could go back and slap myself silly.
I am going out of my mind! I thought it would all be over today, the mess, the dust, the strange people in our house. Just when the light was at the end of the tunnel - boom! The tunnel slams shut. The new vanities don't fit with the existing plumbing. The plumbing has to be moved. AUGHHHHH ! I am FREAKING OUT!
My dog is also hurt. I can't bring myself to think about it because I love her so much and feel like it is my fault she is hurt. She may have to have surgery. Tomorrow. I will update more then.
Everything else (what else is there??) is ok. Food is ok for today. We are eating left over sloppy joes for dinner and I have to freeze the tofu to make BBQ tofu for tomorrow. Everything is treking along.
Took today's walk super easy -- just one mile on the inside loop of the mall and let Julia horse around on the playground area. Scratchy throat still but cough seems easier?
I love my man. Last night when we were cuddling, Mike wrapped his arms around me and said "ooh, you feel skinnier!" Who needs a scale? I have been all aglow all day.
We went to Outback tonight to escape the craziness of home. I can't stand when restaurants don't off their nutritional information! When I googled them, what I found was a joke. They were tips like "To lose weight, try our shrimp with no sauce and no butter and a side salad with no cheese and no dressing." Just stay at home and eat spinach, why don't ya? I had veggie grillers which include a salad (lettuce and cucumbers) which I dapped with dressing, rice and veggies. I counted the whole meal at 10, 8 for the rice, 1 for the veggie marinade and 1 for the dressing. Mike says I am being optimistic, but oh well. I can't guess how much fat they ladled on in the back.
It was a busy day but I got loads done. Tomorrow I go back to work. I think I am out of my lunches (beans and rice). I guess I will take yogurt and fruit? I am a little nervous about it.
Headache lingers on, only now with a stuffy nose, scratchy throat, and slight cough. After a few days spent wondering over this awful headhace it was an "Aha!" awakening this morning. "So that's what's wrong with me. I have a cold!"
I can't remember where I might have got it. The allergist? Church? The grocery? Where I have come in contact with a sick person? I have no idea.
I had to reschedule a playdate so I don't get the other people sick. Not too worried about Julia. She never gets it as bad as me -- probably the nursing helps her out.
So laying low. Trying to rest. Doing what I can do on the home front but mostly just resting and being with the baby.
She's doing great on the potty training front -- I'm really pleased at seeing all the previous work starting to pay off.
We've been having some clinginess lately both in the day and at night... I'm not yet sure what's causing all that. Hrm.
I am off today for the presidential doo-hickey, but it isn't a very relaxing day with the contents of my two upstairs bathrooms in my bedroom and the hallway. The workers aren't here yet, I assume they are delayed by the snow we had last night and the fact that all the local schools are opening late. I have been running around this morning trying to find the correct tile to fix the shower, but no such tile can be found anywhere, so when they get here I will ask for the next best option and run to get that. I will also get our new vanities, I already picked up the light fixtures. Can you tell how excited I am about the new bathrooms? And they look great so far, I can't wait to see them finished!
As a treat on my day off, I went to *$s and got a iced skim mocha. I am counting it as 4 points, 2 for the milk and 2 for the chocolate. The caffeine induced happiness is free free free.
We may get a nasty snow storm this weekend. Not to sound selfish, but I really hope not, I so want to try jazzercise out on Sunday. If it comes, I will walk on the treadmill (assuming i can get to it, the workers have set up shop downstairs.) Next week, my goal is to start exercising. I would like to start with 4 days a week. Mike and I will alternate days so I will exercise 3 days during the week, he will exercise 3 different days, and one day of the weekend we will do something together or both exercise separately.
I have been thinking a lot about WW points lately. We figured out the formula to calculate them on our own without the slide rule thing. If you just look at calories, then 1 point equals about 50 calories, so 30 points a day would get you 1500 calories. Sounds like a reasonable diet. But, then for every dietary fiber up to 4 you get to subtract 10. Isn't that strange? Can we not digest dietary fiber, but it is included in the calorie count? Basically, I could be eating up to 2200 calories a day or more with high fiber foods. The whole thing makes me think I should just count calories. I will keep it up though, as long as it is working.
It is so much easier not to snack at work. I took an extra fruit cup with me this morning in case I had the munchies like I had yesterday, but I didn't need it.
It is funny how all day long I am attending to myself. When I get into work, I usually fill my water bottle and make some tea. After the tea, time to watch the glass. Before you know it, time to get up and go to the bathroom, re-fill the water bottle, get a fruit cup. Another glass of tea later and time for lunch. It is non-stop, this eating, cleaning up after eating, and preparing for the next meal. I think it is good for me to get up from my desk every now and then, I think I have eye strain. (probably caused by my long nights on the computer reading all the blogs!)
Tonight I made yummy omelets with feta cheese, mushrooms and spinach. We had potatoes (of course, new sides, please!) and veggie sausage. V. v. good, 7 points.
Tomorrow I have the day off, but I am likely going to be running around to every home supplies store in the area so I won't get to enjoy it. I wanted to go today, but it snowed here and the roads are horrible.
Today I had a rude awakening. Up to 1 week ago, I ate a bagel with cream cheese and an IC mocha from panera bread every week day and most weekends for breakfast. I loved these things and even though I added 30 minutes to my commute to drive there, park, and wait in line, I did it almost every day from the time I discovered the place (about 3 years ago). The only time I stopped was when I went to weight watchers before. Never did it occur to me to look up the nutritional information on line and see what exactly I was eating. Bagel = 370 calories and 7 grams of fat, cream cheese = 190 calories and 18 grams of fat, and, my favorite, the ic mocha = 630 calories and 28 grams of fat! For a grand total of 1190 calories with 53 grams of fat for my breakfast, a whopping 27 points before noon. And I didn't stop there, I still ate a healthy lunch and a sizable dinner. Let's calculate the pounds I could have lost if I just stopped drinking the IC mocha. 630 calories * 5 days/week * 52 weeks/year * 3 years / 3500 calories / lb = 140 lbs! I know it isn't that simple, but DAMN! That is all I can say.
I am feeling sick today too. I have a sick headache and a swollen eye. I just hope it isn't pink eye. Other than being swollen, it doesn't look like it is infected. I am taking the day off and trying to spend as little time in front of computer or reading as possible (and you know how hard that is for me.) I am trying to rest, but work guys are here and who knows if I will actually get any.
I am off today and had lunch at one of my favorite local restaurants with one of my favorite local moms whose has a very cute baby the same age as Iz. The idea was to have a quick bite then come over to my house and play, but both kids were tired from all the flinging things off the table at the restaurant and required immediate naps. Lunch was good - a big salad with goat cheese and a couple of pieces of bread. I just never know how to count when I eat out. I just googled them to see if nutritional info is available - nada. I guess I will count 3 points for the bread, 5 for the cheese and 2 for the salad dressing? I also had a coffee, 1 more point. The salad dressing is always a question mark. It was an orange vinaigrette which could have lots of oil, or little oil, who knows?
Tonight we are making sloppy joes with soy crumbles. We have tried this before with mixed success, we found one brand of crumbles that we really liked and one we hated. Of course I can't remember the one we liked, so back to square one.
Update:
The sloppy joes were great, we can add them to our weekly routine. I cleaned out our pantry today, which is very small, and tossed a large garbage bag of things, mostly half eaten cereal boxes and cookie mixes. I made enough room to relocate the baby food into the pantry, freeing up a little more counter space. My next project is to hang the pot rack I got for xmas and clean out my pot area. I would like to be able to store Iz's bottles, cups and bowls in there along with all the tupperware that now lives on the top of our fridge.
BTW we accepted the offer for the work so we will be having handy-guys in our house all week. Hopefully by next week, I will have 3 usable showers.
Okay day. We made the tofu loaf and Mike really liked it. It had a good flavor, but kept falling about and wasn't anywhere as dense as a normal meat loaf. Though it is only 2 points of food, more than half the calories come from fat, the rest mainly protein. If Mike wants, we can make it occassionally, but I want to try some more tofu dishes. I made rice and beans for dinner and put the leftovers into individual containers for lunches next week.
So diet wise everything is hunky dorey. I thought after my very productive day yesterday, I would sleep like a baby and lounge around the house most of today. Nope. Last night we discovered that every shower in our house has a problem with it. Every Single One. We are all taking showers in the guest shower which has the smallest problem of the 3. I was finally motivated to call a handy man today. He came by to give us an estimate (still has to call back with the estimate). If we agree, hopefully he will start tomorrow.
Julia went on and on last night. Very needy/clingy. I was getting pretty cross with it all. I have to take her temp later to see if she's running warm or what. What makes this whole episode so difficult is not yet knowing the cause so I can tailor my responses so we all hopefully get some relief. Otherwise my attempts at comforting her are stabs in the dark.
I just nursed her, took her to pee, put her back down, and took my meds. Paul is still alseep. I should go back to sleep myself. What I'm going to do is my bloody walk while the going is good. THEN try to go back to sleep.
I'm hoping my mood will improve as I walk. A foul mood is no way to start a weekend.
5:43 PM
Updated with walk stats on top.
Much better. We've all gotten naps and are all feeling less irritable.
Julia in particular slept a lot -- while Paul and I have been up doing house work (groceries for me and then repainting the rusty top of the dryer for him) and then took quick naps, she's been out since last night. Probably has something to do with whatever was making her such a grump yesterday.
I still don't know if it is teeth, separation anxieties, growing pains, or what. She looks longer every time I look at her but I didn't think of growing pains being a possibility until just now. My niece would complain about hers hurting her legs and I suppose it's the same for a toddler.
Weekly goal: 1) Clean out closet and downstairs storage area. Set up treadmill. 2) keep track of points 3) try a new food
I got a jump on this week's goal, I cleaned out my closet last night. I have 3 bags of clothes to donate to charity, 2 tubs to put into the attic (maternity clothes, shorts, and summer-y dresses) and now I can wear everything hanging in my closet (almost). Things I wanted to keep but couldn't wear (mainly blue jeans which I own in 3 different sizes and don't want to have to re-buy as I get thinner) were folded and put on a high shelf. I also have shorts in every size, but I will deal with those when I drag the tubs back out for summer. I mainly threw out skirts, old t-shirts, and sweaters. For some reason, I buy a lot of skirts (usually at the last minute before I need to give a presentation), but don't wear them more than once or twice. I should be careful when I buy things, try to avoid the latest fads and buy "classic" clothes that I can get more use out of.
The one thing hanging in my closet that I can't wear is my "skinny dress". I bought this dress the last time I did weight watchers. I was shopping for some dressy clothes for a meeting I was going to in Spain in the fall of 2003 and absolutely fell in love with this black dress. The store didn't have it in my size so I tried on a size smaller than normal and it fit and looked great! I remember how excited I was that I had gone down a size! Well, I got pregnant soon after and was showing by the time I went to the meeting so I never got to wear the dress (the tags are still on it.) I am leaving it in my closet as inspiration and will hopefully be able to wear it when we go to Cancun in July I woke up early this morning with cramps. It has only been a couple of months since I stopped breastfeeding and switched back to my normal BC pill and my body is still struggling to adjust. I am glad my goal isn't to start exercising this week.
This afternoon, Mike and I are going to work on the basement storage area. When we had our basement re-finished, we opened up the big storage room for more living space and instead made two large storage closets. In November, we did a lot of digging through the closets for xmas decorations and books. A lot of the boxes have ended up in the main part of the basement, waiting to be repacked. Our hope is to put everything back into the storage closets and clear out the main part of the basement again so we can set up the treadmill.
Mike and I have made a decision with regards to the scale. When we clean out the basement storage area, we are going to pack it away in the basement shelves, still accessible but not easily. I feels good to let go of the number and to commit to this lifestyle without the expectation of losing a certain amount of weight each week. We will still have to weigh ourselves occassionally because the number of WW points we eat is based on our weight.
Update (8:27 PM) :
Is it possible that it is still Saturday, the same day I wrote the post above? After getting Mike up and doing a quick pick up around the house (our house cleaner was coming) we loaded up the car with all the donate-ables and some baby things to return to a friend of mine and were off. We dropped the load at the salvation army, then dropped our friend's stuff off, then went to sam's to get diaper and formula. We had lunch at Red Robin, a burger place. I had a garden burger and, since I know how to count for the burger since we eat them at home, managed somehow to stay within points for the day. I can't tell you how happy this makes me since the absence of eating out "on plan" is probably the #1 reason we fall off the wagon. When we returned to our clean home, I had a nap while Mike watched the munchkin, then while they were sleeping I tackled the basement. I stored the scale, repacked all the boxes, set up the treadmill with a small TV in front of it. I also made room to do aerobics. Oh, and I did the laundry while I was at it. We had left over risotto, sweet potatoes (which aged very well) and asparagus for dinner (imagine a day without cooking!) and watched a movie. Basically, I kicked butt today, got all the stuff done I needed to and have all day tomorrow to relax and prepare (read: make lunches and fruit salad) for next week.
I added a couple of extra goals to the list above. Stay within points will be permanent. Our other goal is to try a new dish, preferably one with lots of protein. I let Mike choose the dish and he chose tofuloaf (like meatloaf, which he loves.) I have made tofu loaf once before and have bad bad memories of it, but maybe this time will turn out better. I have to go to the health food store to get the rest of the ingredients tomorrow.
Got the walking done late tonight and got hungry at 1.5 miles in so I quit and made a quick salad for a late dinner.
Julia was VERY clingy today and wore me out completely. I couldn't get a thing done other than tending to her so by the time Paul got home I was getting fed up with her. I know it's not her fault when she has days like this. She just needs to work out whatever it is -- separation anxiety, teething, etc. Hopefully tomorrow will go better on the baby front.
I am frustrated right now. I have been planning on joining the gym on base and was really looking forward to taking an aerobics class during the winter months. I love exercising outside in the summer, but there is only so much treadmill walking I can do. Well, the gym on base has changed management and has canceled all but 2 of the aerobics classes. I could still take those, and may, but need to find other options. Cat suggested looking up jazzercise and it turns out there are a couple of jazzercise classes close to where I live that take walk-ins. I have never done jazzercise before, but I will check it out. Most of the classes are in the daytime, but it looks like there is 1 in the evening 3 times a week and several on the weekend. I should be able to fit 4 workouts a week. Even if I don't love it, maybe the instructors can point me in some other directions. And if I do love it, it only costs about $35 a month and I can sign up month to month, no sticky gym contract to deal with. I also investigated the gym that is 2 minutes from my house, but their aerobic schedule looks pretty bleak.
Mom had her freezer die on her unexpectedly and she cooked all the food and brought it over before going to work so I got up way too early after way too little sleep last night and my day from there didn't get better.
I'm exhausted.
I think I need to get more aggressive about people not bugging my sleep or the baby's sleep.
I caught my Dad about to bang on the nursery window and I told him to cut it out. I HATE that he doesn't just knock on the front door. Why does he have to do that and disturb the baby?
I am very tired right now. Good day at work, rice and beans for lunch, very yummy fruit. Then when we got home I decided to make one of our most complicated dinners, risotto with mushrooms, sweet potatoes and asparagus. It turned out great and very low in points (6 for a lot of food) , but boy did it tire me out to make. I am not making risotto again unless it is the weekend, Iz is asleep, and Mike can help.
I have been having an internal debate today about throwing out my scale. Do I really need it? Will the number have an effect on my efforts and progress? Don't I want to continue regardless of the number? If it is going to be an emotional barrier, then why bother? At the same time, it could help keep my enthusiam high and be encouraging when I otherwise feel down. I am just not sure what to do. I know in the past I have let the numbers get me down ("I worked so hard this week and I didn't lose any weight! Why am I even bothering?") And I need to continue no matter what the numbers say. Maybe I will only weigh in every month?
I'd taken Julia to the museum to play and then to Paul's work to take him lunch. Came home to nap and then we hit the grocery store and abnres and Noble. So I've been on the go all day long.
Had a bit of a headache while walking but I'm hoping it works itself out. Off to shower and bed.
Another good day. I am in that euphoric early stage, my stomach has shrunk and I am not too hungry anymore and I have all the time and energy possible to make meals, plan menus, fret over the whole thing. It all feels great, I hope I can stay in this stage for as long as possible. I am enjoying the green tea at work, today I had 3 cups. It helps me push lunch back till 12:30 so I can have a late snack and avoid the munchies when I get home.
We had pasta with veggies and sauce for dinner tonight, very yummy. We usually have texas toast garlic bread with this (the real buttery kind) but we were sure we wouldn't be able to fit it into our points for the day. Low and behold, it is only 3 points so we had it too. It is great to be able to make our food fit the diet and not the other way around, it is one of the reasons I like weight watchers but can't deal with the other programs that have specific food options.
Good day! I had cereal and juice for bfast, rice and beans for lunch, and two fruit cups for snacks. We are planning omelets, veggie sausage, and potatoes for dinner. Lots of food and all within points. I had green tea during work to help with hunger cravings (I think I am going to have to give up chewing gum, headache is getting worse.)
I went to the disney site to check out registration, but haven't done it yet. I think it is safe to put it off until February. We just paid our HOA fees and car insurance and I don't want to pay anything else this month.
Checked out aerobics classes on base today and there are two every day, one at lunch and one from 4:30 till 5:30. I will visit the classes in the next couple of weeks and if I like them, sign up.
Let me be clear. I was not in the mood to walk this morning. NOT. NOT. NOT.
While I'm feeling better lately I still feel tired a lot. Larry, Paul's boss, even noticed how haggard I look when I popped by the office with teh kid last week. He was quite kind in asking me how I was doing and if Julia was pooping me out now that she's walking.
I can't remember what nice thing I said back but I DO remember thinking "Good grief, I must look absolutely awful if two separate people have inquired about it in two days!"
But I'm walking in a bit and when I'm done I'll come back to post my 2 mile stats above this entry.
At first it was going to be one of those "Dammit, I have to walk" semi-grumpy things. I missed yesterday's walk because I crashed and I'd promised Monique I'd virtual walk with her so I felt a bit bad about not doing what I said I would.
So I really have to get it on today. So I woke up thinking "Must walk. Urrrrghhh. Allergist Appointment. Urrrrggggh."
Let me be clear. I was not in the mood to walk this morning. NOT. NOT. NOT.
While I'm feeling better lately I still feel tired a lot. Larry, Paul's boss, even noticed how haggard I look when I popped by the office with teh kid last week. He was quite kind in asking me how I was doing and if Julia was pooping me out now that she's walking.
I can't remember what nice thing I said back but I DO remember thinking "Good grief, I must look absolutely awful if two separate people have inquired about it in two days!"
But I'm walking in a bit and when I'm done I'll come back to post my 2 mile stats above this entry.
At first it was going to be one of those "Dammit, I have to walk" semi-grumpy things. I missed yesterday's walk because I crashed and I'd promised Monique I'd virtual walk with her so I felt a bit bad about not doing what I said I would.
So I really have to get it on today. So I woke up thinking "Must walk. Urrrrghhh. Allergist Appointment. Urrrrggggh."
I meant to update this weekend, but internet was down at home. WW thing is going ok. I have stayed within points except for today (we had a Big Date Night, something we always do on the 10th of each month, so no point counting). I was pretty hungry on Saturday and had a bad headache on Sunday, but managed. Mike and I are both anxious and excited and trying not to think (read: obsess) about it too much. I go back and forth between keeping my eye on the big prize (Disney 2006) and just making through the day.
At dinner tonight Mike and I talked about having a plan for the next year, still fluid, but some structure to help us stay focused. I would like to establish weekly goals that I can build on each week, some focused on health and exercise and others focused on getting other aspects of my life in order. When I have a minute or two, I will try to map out a plan for the year (or atleast the next few months) and go over them with Cat. I can't tell you how great it is to have Cat as a training partner. Even though Mike is here with me, having another, more experienced ear, is amazing.
One goal that I must do early on is to clean out my closet, an emotional and sometimes humiliating thing for a chubby girl. Even though I am only 13 lbs heavier than my pre-preg weight, the pregnancy changed the shape of my body and I now carry a lot of fat on my stomach. Old clothes don't fit or fit poorly. As a result, my closet is a landmine field, I pull out something I want to wear only to find that it is clingy in all the wrong places. I also have a lot of pregnancy clothes in there that need to be packed away for #2. So next week, my goal will be to go through and clear my closet of anything that I can't imediately wear and pack or donate the rest.
Though I don't want to start on formal exercise for a few more weeks, I am already thinking about how to include it in my daily life. Since I don't need to start doing road work for the marathon until, at the earliest, late summer, I am opened to doing things other than walking or jogging for exercise. I am going to investigate the fitness classes that are offered on base. Though I don't relish in the idea of getting hot and sweaty on my lunch hour, it would be a great way to get exercise while Iz is in daycare.
Trying to get the new website for this blog done this week. I'm having trouble with some CSS and need Paul's input.
Like Amy, I'm thinking ahead for 2005's training for the 2006 race. Even though the actual race is always the icing on the cake and I'm more in it for the motivation to keep exercising throughout the year... I want icing dammit! It will be my last chance for it for a little while since I'm planning on trying for #2 after Julia turns two.
We went out to Disney to check out race weekend activities on Sat. and it was fun to think about only my interests instead of family oligations like we had been over the holidays. We poked around, wished people good luck, ate at Rainforest Cafe and then let Julia horse around in the water fountains with some other kids. She seemed to enjoy that.
We had playgroup today and she did well -- very into following other kids around. She's not at all worried that they are bigger than she is. Paul got to meet some other dads so that was good for him and I got to get to know the host mom a bit better.
Came home to read the race results and found out that the men's marathon was taken by the same guy in 2003 that I saw while cheering NF people in with Patty. The women's was taken in 2:56 by a woaman who grew up in Orlando but moved away.
Part of me was thinking... hrm... a sub 3 hour marathon... Can I do that? But that's a dream for another year. Waaay into the future and perhaps only a dream. I'm content with walking a half around 3:30. Brisk, but not brutal. And I'll settle for sub 4.
I've got enough distractions with Julia and health goals (manage Paul's hypertension, my PCOS/IR) to set overly ambitious fitness goals. Apart from fitness/health goals this year, there's another -- to meet and greet a bit more and try to make new friends with kids. We have a church date next weekend with another couple and their son that we've met once before so we'll see how that flies.
Weekly goal: Start eating healthier To accomplish: keep track of WW points all week, tabulate points and portion sizes for our typical meals
This is Disney race weekend 2005 so it seems appropriate to start posting for the 2006 race. Wow, can't believe I am doing this. Feel too nervous to tell many people about it (other than The Internet of course). Today I started getting food stuff in order. We are doing the weight watchers system without actually joining WW. I was in it before we got pg (and lost 30 lbs) so I have all the literature. If I find I need extra support, I will join up then. The goal is to end the week with all the points tabulated and portion sizes calculated for our typical meals. I went to the grocery last night and spent over an hour and $200, mainly in produce. I am going to make fruit salad today and pack it in individual containers for work next week. Breakfast is going to be the hardest part. I have been eating bagels and drinking a really yummy blended coffee drink for b-fast for the last year or so and have gotten used to a monster number of calories in the morning. Now I am going to do cereal at home with a stash of fruit for as soon as I get to work.
